Laura reviews tips for couples and partners who want more life and financial success.
Laura reviews tips for couples and partners who want more life and financial success.
Money Girl is hosted by Laura Adams.
Transcript: https://money-girl.simplecast.com/episodes/richer-relationshipsfinding-the-right-partner-for-success/transcript
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When I speak to live or online audiences, a common question I hear is, 'What is your number one tip for achieving financial success?' You might be surprised that my answer isn't creating a budget or starting to invest early. Yes, those are important; however, I believe who you share your life and finances with–whether it's a romantic partner, spouse, family member, or business partner–can be the most critical factor for success.
This post will review key traits to look for in a partner and provide tips for existing couples to achieve greater financial success. They'll help you increase your chances of enjoying more happiness in your life and finances.
Welcome back to episode 932 of Money Girl–I appreciate you spending time with me! I'm Laura Adams, an award-winning author, on-camera spokesperson, female money speaker, and founder of The Money Stack, a Substack newsletter. I've been providing personal finance tips and advice on this podcast weekly since 2008, with over 44 million downloads.
You can learn more, ask questions, and sign up for the Money Stack at LauraDAdams.com. Newsletter subscribers automatically receive my Money Success Toolkit with the exact templates I use to manage money.
5 partner traits to choose for success
While I'm not a psychologist or couples counselor, I have been happily married for decades. I've also partnered with various individuals in successful business ventures, including retail and real estate investments.
I could never have achieved a fraction of my financial success if my marriage and business relationships hadn't turned out so well. Bad relationships can keep you from making good money decisions, and divorce can be a financial setback that takes years to recover from.
However, I realize that circumstances change, and some you can't see coming. Splitting up with a partner or getting divorced may be a crucial step in turning around a bad situation.
As I watch my nieces graduate from college and begin their lives and potential life partnerships, I'm reminded how much a long-term relationship can multiply your life-long happiness and financial success.
Here are some character traits that can make a potential life or business partner a good fit.
1. High self-esteem.
Self-esteem means you love and value yourself without being arrogant or egotistical. You don't let other people take advantage of you or mistreat you because you know your self-worth. People with high self-esteem can say "no" when it's appropriate and are often described as confident, self-aware, and cognizant of their strengths and weaknesses.
But having low self-esteem means you often feel incompetent and unworthy, even when you aren't. You may depend on others to make decisions for you, fear taking risks, or blame others instead of taking responsibility for your mistakes.
Having a life or business partner with high self-esteem can mean they advance quickly in their career, seek more lucrative opportunities, or have the confidence to negotiate more effectively.
2. Responsibility.
Being responsible means following through on promises and not letting other people down. For example, you show up to appointments on time because you respect other people's time and feelings.
Responsibility is also about taking care of yourself without relying on other people to remind you what to do or when to be somewhere. Responsible people recognize they're in charge of their lives and accomplish tasks on time, such as showing up for work, paying bills, and managing other aspects of their finances.
Another act of responsibility is not saying what you shouldn't. For instance, if a friend shares something sensitive or confidential with you, keep it to yourself. Otherwise, people will discover that they can't trust you.
3. Honesty.
In my opinion, honesty is an essential character trait in a life or business partner, and it's non-negotiable. While we all tell half-truths occasionally–like telling someone their new haircut or outfit looks great if they ask what you think–being untruthful is a major red flag that you should never ignore.
For instance, if someone is deceptive about the places they go, the people they're with, how they spend time, or their personal history, they're not someone you want to build a life or business with.
One of the worst financial problems a couple can face is dishonesty about money. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for one partner to be secretive or lie about their spending. They might open secret credit cards or keep savings the other person doesn't know about. That can be devastating to your financial future.
One of the biggest joys in my relationship is that my husband and I are always honest with each other, no matter what. I recommend never settling for a romantic or business partner who lies to you or isn't straightforward about their feelings.
4. Openness.
Openness is similar to honesty but is more about your emotional intelligence. For instance, an open person is aware of their feelings, can express them, and wants to communicate to keep an emotional connection with you.
For example, telling a partner that you're worried about your job or financial situation is being open. Being vulnerable isn't easy and can seem risky. A partner might accept your concerns and want to discuss them in detail, or they could reject what you say.
Being open requires maturity and a high level of comfort with your emotions.
Choosing a life or business partner who is closed emotionally could make communication very difficult, especially when it comes to finances. But when both of you can share your emotions about money and everything else openly, you'll have an authentic relationship.
5. Curiosity.
Being curious means that you're interested in new ideas and asking questions to explore specific topics in greater depth. For instance, you might enjoy learning new hobbies and skills, as well as meeting new people.
Curious people usually enjoy personal growth, don't assume they have all the answers and want to become a better person and partner. They're open to learning something new or changing their mind when they see new facts about a topic.
Someone who isn't curious may view learning as a burden. So, partnering with a non-curious person could mean they never get interested in personal finances and never want to improve their ability to manage money wisely.
LISTEN ALSO: 8 money rules for happy couples
How to find the right partner
My recommendation for finding the right life or business partner is to know yourself first and be as mentally healthy as possible. When you know your values and financial goals, you can choose someone compatible. Take as much time as you need to get to know someone's character, history, and goals, so you're sure that you're well-suited for a long, quality relationship.
People always show you exactly who they are–it's your job to handle that information appropriately. Never fool yourself into thinking that you can change someone's core character or money habits because most people are happy being exactly who they are! While no one's perfect, you're responsible for having the relationship and financial life that you want.
How to have a richer relationship
If you're already in a committed relationship and struggling to manage your finances effectively as a couple, focus on what you can do to improve the situation, such as enhancing communication and expressing your needs. And for help with communication, the Savvy Psychologist podcast here at QDT had a great episode last week with great tips, as well as a depth of content to help you get mentally stronger - I’ll link that in the show notes.
Try creating a regular money date where you talk openly about money, such as over dinner, a picnic, or a walk. First, assess your current financial situation, including the status of your savings, retirement accounts, and debt.
Then, discuss one of your most pressing money needs or goals, like taking a vacation, purchasing life insurance, or investing for retirement. Listen to what your partner says and set a date to take an action that moves you closer to meeting both of your needs.
Successful couples must adjust and evolve to accommodate ever-changing life circumstances. Instead of insisting that your spouse or partner is difficult or causing money problems, accept the fact that you may also be difficult for them.
If you try to improve your finances as a couple but can't make progress, consider getting help from a financial advisor or a nonprofit credit counselor. It’s not likely that problems will go away on their own.
If you're struggling to communicate in general, you may need a couples counselor or marriage therapist to help work through deeper challenges in your relationship. Be open to consulting with various professionals until you find one that suits your situation and can ultimately help both your relationship and your finances.
That's all for now. I'll talk to you soon. Until then, here's to living a richer life!
Money Girl is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast, and I want to thank our fantastic team! Steve Riekeberg audio-engineers the show. Holly Hutchings is our director of podcasts, Morgan Christianson is our advertising operations specialist, and Nathaniel Hoopes is our marketing contractor.